are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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