It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
