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Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
