I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
