I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize