The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
