what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Randomize
