I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The power of my boobs compel you
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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