She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize