This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
