dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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