my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I think I am morally bankrupt
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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