Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
