i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
