we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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