I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
