Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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