Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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