so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
