I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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