Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
