put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
