She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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