Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
