redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
