You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
