Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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