it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
