I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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