can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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