Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
