Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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