well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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