well I can't set my house on fire every night
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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