You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
