wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
