What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
