Nicole vs. Life
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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