You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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