i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
