There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
