Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
