I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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