Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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