I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
