like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
