Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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