Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
