Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
