Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
