I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
