is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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