i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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