i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There r osticjed everywhere
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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