I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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