can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
