If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
