Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
