The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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