3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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