I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
