she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
