Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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