if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
