Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
