i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize