VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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