the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
God I need to hump something, right now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
