So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
