When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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