Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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