if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
